As of late, I’d been feeling dissatisfied and unaccomplished. I couldn’t figure out why. I have a good job, a hot wife, and stellar friends. At first, I thought it was my job, but after recently making a career move and enrolling in graduate school (which I’m independently excited about), I couldn’t shake those feelings of dissatisfaction. So, I did some exploring of myself. I want to do work I love, and more than that, I believe it’s entirely reasonable to find such work. I decided I would write down a few things I know for sure about myself. Those few things turned into quite the essay which I may later publish here. Among those things, I remembered that, on a fundamental level, I am an artist, yet this is something I have never declared of myself, but that others have ascribed to me. I remembered all the times the words “artist” or “creative” had been used to describe me.
Then I think I realized it: I had been feeling unhappy and unsatisfied because I have not been very creative over the last year. In my defense, I had a full and busy year and accomplished quite a bit. I graduated college, got a full time job, became financially independent of my parents, moved in to my own place, proposed to my girlfriend, married her, and got into grad school. In the midst of working 60 hour weeks, the most my spare time could afford me was a meal and good night’s sleep. I had little time to do what I have always done: Create. I have always created. I have been writing and drawing as long as I can remember. In the 5th grade I began to sing and play music. In high school, I began stage acting, dancing, and performing around town in my own band. I have always been an artist and I have been proud of the things I created. But the last year has been hard for me! Even in light of how much I accomplished, I felt so unaccomplished because of how little I created.
That sets the stage for the subject of this post. I’ve decided to challenge myself to write more often. I haven’t been nearly as creative as I want to be. With little to no outlet for my creativity, I’ve felt dissatisfied and unaccomplished. If I’m not creating something, a work of my hands of which I can be proud, I feel as if I’ve done nothing. I’ve always been an artist. Ever since I can remember I have been singing, dancing, performing, acting, drawing, playing music, and writing. I have never been a master of any of these, but I have enjoyed each. So, to combat my feelings of dissatisfaction, I want to be more creative more often and I believe that creativity is a craft. There’s a natural, talented foundation, but also a skill and a discipline involved in translating the thought to a device, a medium that can be shared. There are good habits to be formed and bad habits to be broken.
So, in light of my desire to be more creative, I want to invest in my craft, my art. I’m challenging myself to write 500 words or craft a new poem each and every day. I may not always (or ever) publish this writing, but I think it will be good for me and my writing to start this habit. Stay tuned. We’ll see if I stick to this.